Clint Eastwood

I just heard Clint Eastwood is making a movie in my home town.

Nobody does tough like Eastwood. If you want to argue... "Make my day."

I'm about to go to Physical Therapy but I wanted to say somthing.

Dragon has arrived

My speech recognition software has arrived. I still havent installed it because I don't think I have the hard drive space. My computer is 10 years old and the hard drive Is full. I either need to buy a new hard drive or get a new computer.

I'm thinking i'll upgrade or add another hard drive. . I think you can get 1TB cheap, a new mother board would be nice, and a new case with more usb jacks. Sounds nice but all the add ons add up. I'm a poor so money is an issue.

I think I can get help at the National MS society with my computer so it looks like thats what I'm doing... Until next time. Bye.

Happy Holloween!

Money

I hate not having money. I am limited in what I can do. My kids want stuff and I can't get it for them. I'll figure something out. I like to do for myself.

I have to say it. I am against most of president Obama's policies. You can't expect government to do everything. It never works. I do think their should be a safety net for people who need it but how big can the net be before everyone is included. I was about to start rambling. lucky for you I have to go.

Les Paul

I keep looking at guitars. My daughter I don't know if I will be able to help myself. Kids want stuff and Daddy's like buying them stuff.

My decision would be much easier if she wasn't any good. Wouldn't you know it She is really good. Her teacher is trying to get her to play open mic night at a local restaurant. I want her to play too. It's time for her to get started on my retirement plan. ;-P

Mindfulness

I recently saw an article about the benifits of mindfulness and meditation to patients with Multiple Sclerosis. I have herd about this before from a podcast I used to follow, The Berkley Groks.

I forgot the exact difinition of mindfulness but I think it has something to do with listening to what your body is teelling you. When your body tells you you are tired it is a good idea to listen. It sounds easy but sometimes we dont listen and try to do more than we really should, or we forget past lessons and get ourselves into bad situations.

Yesterday evening for example. I was waiting for my ride with my daughtet and she wanted to go outside and wait. I knew it was to hot for me to wait outside but I did it anyway. It tired me out. Me and the heat do not mix. Past experiance told me that would happen. I should have listened.

That's just one example. There are others. Mindfulness can help me with other apects of my life that I always seem to have problems with. Women.

I don't always listen. I'm hardheaded sometimes. At least I know where my daughter gets it.

The Funk Zone

I haven't updated my weak little web page in awhile. I am doing it now because the music I'm listening to now has inspired me. Inspired to what I don't even know.

My home life is hectic as usual. Lilly told me to mind my own business. She makes me angry sometimes. Doesn't she know? She is my business. I challenge anyone to prove to me she isn't.

Jasmine seems to be okay. She is making plans for college. She wants to major in French or History.It sounds OK to me but I doubt it pays that well.

That will have to do. I am in the Funk Zone and my mind is wandering to much to make a good post right now. Jasmine and I need to record something. Ya never know besides, it'll be fun.

Voice recognition software

I had a talk with my physical therapist. She recommended voice recognition software for my computer.

It sounds good but I'm not going to get it until I'm sure it will help. I already have a Deep Brain Stimulator. There is a big difference between brain surgery and software. I might have been too quick to get the surgery. I don't Know. Everyone else notices a difference. I might be better at coping and made adjustments to the way I do things. I was classified as rapid repeat MS. Now I am diagnosed with secondary progressive MS. I'm not sure the surgery was good for me.

I watched a video someone posted today. She was demonstrating the MS gait when she walked. I remember those days. I use a wheelchair now.

I don't want to make it seam like it was inevitable. MS is different in everybody.

The Software might help with my blog. I can type a little. The problem might be with motivation.

New tool on blogger

There is a new web tool to design blogs with on blogger. I say it's new but I don't know. I haven't been using my computer. I have been veg'in in front of the TV.

I looked up a few people on facebook. I was going to come clean to a few girls in High School I had crushes on. I was trying the extreme honesty philosophy. Then I thought better of it. That's a lot of girls!

I really just wanted to let people know I ain't dead yet. I will post more latter.

Long Time no see

I haven't used my computer in two months. I have been on the couch watching TV. I am still as opinionated as ever but I haven't felt like writing. I am on an anti-depressent. I don't feel much different, but I think I am naturaly a pessimist.

My daughter is going to Greece next month. She should have a good time ( She better it cost enough! ).

I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still here.

Paralisis?

I can't stand it! Every time I try to forget I have MS and get on with life I get another reminder that I have it. There is no escape.

I was reading about the possable coorse of MS being paralisis. I din't even finish reading the article. The P word, I don't even like the sound of it.

I'm not paralized yet but I might as well be. it is getting harder and harder to stand. My balance is terrible and i have bad tremor in my right hand. I was right handed, now I have to use my left for everything except writing.

I have to look up a new drug I herd about. It is still being used on lab animals but it is showing promise. Really I just wrote today to complain.

I guess I knew that

One of the rss feeds I have posted examined the link between withheld anger and MS. I am glad that someone wrote down how I have always felt. I am always angry about something or other.

The difference between me and the average person is I hold stuff in. When I do get angry put on your combat helmet and take cover.

I think I know I do that so I think I'm much better about dealing with my emotions now. :-D I will post the link so you can read about what I'm talking about.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/172156.php

just thinking

I was just watching movie, Taken. The daughter of a former goverment agent was kidnapped. He did everything he could to get her back. They messed with the wrong one that time.

I can't do what he did or even as much as I once could, but I do understand the sentiment. Love has made me do crazy things.

My MS seems to be getting worse. I can't do what I did just a year or two ago. I want to do more but it always seems like I take one step forward and two steps back.

This blog is going to change. I'm not sure how. It might become more useful and easier to update. I don't know what my next move is yet.

A new Appointment

I have anew dr's appointment with the same DR that implanted my DBS (deep brain stimulator) early next year. I'm not sure what we will talk about but I want to be optomistic. There may be some new surgery that will alow me to connect my brain directly to the internet or something.

That might be cool. I would have an advantage when I play Mobesters 2 Vandetta. If I sound crazy I can't help it I'm a petty criminal.

I will probably discuss how I am doing since the surgery. I am not sure how well I am doing. I have to try to take a step back and take an objective look.

A new post

I have been playing a lot of mobsters 2 on facebook ( I play as Jack Hammer Jay). It is a welcomed escape from my everyday problems. I don't even think I am that good, but don't tell anybody. I just like the GAME. I think shakespere said it best.

" The world is a stage and we are all merly players. "

I admit it. I used to use that line before. It was another time and place.

Confirmation

I confirmed it was my ex girlfriend that I apologized to on Facebook. It really shouldn't be that big a deal but I obsess about everything. I blame MS.

I am worried now because I have a female Dr. I think I should probably switch to a male doctor but I am homophobic. I have to work on that.

I have a new Internet connection but it is slow and when I am online I use Facebook. I will update my blog better tomorrow.

I just thought of something. I play mobsters 2 on Facebook and I am trying to grow my mob. If you join me I will look out for you. Remember its a two way street.

I hate football

I love football. Washington had a good football team when I was coming up. The Hogs ment business. You had better be prepared for a fight if you were going to play at RFK.

Now it seams like if A team needs a win they play us.

"we suck!"

I shouldn't have said that. The Redskins are my team. I will stick with them through thick and thin. Good and bad. I guess I'm just mad.

The Redskins have some good players but right now I have to go lick my wounds. I will leave it for other people to diagnose the problem. I have other stuff to worry about.

I am connected!

It took me long enough but I am connected once again. I want to say somethings because I haven't made any updates to my blog for a long time. I wanted to write something but it will have to wait. I'm tired from trying to get this thing, my computer, to work I need to rest I'm going to my daughters high school football game.

Go Govs!

I still have feelings

I think I might see an exgirlfreind Friday. I have run into her a few times. I know she mght go to the retreat I will be going to. There MUST be somthing wrong with me. I still have feeling even after the messy break up and almost 20 years. My kid will be 15 in two days. I don't understand.

I am usimg the computer at the library. My internet is down at my house. It's killing me. I just wanted to say something. I need to check my Email.

Chillin' at grrandaddy's house

I'm at my grand fathers house in St Luis Mo. I won't be home in virginia for two weeks. I wanted to post somthng more but its too hot!

I'm going to hide from the heat under the AC vent. It's a good thing I was born in the 20 century.

Born under a bad sign

I just can't win. The deck is stacked. I started to try to date but I just don't thiink anybody in my situation should be worried about that. I can't talk about that.

I'm a gemini if you were wondering. When I'm good I'm really good. When I'm bad I'm really bad. I don't believe in astrology... but it does seam to fit in my case.

I was listening to the Blues. Albert King. I think that about says it all.