New med

I started my Tysabri infusion yesterday. So far it seems to be working OK. I haven't had any bad reactions to the med. I already feel a Little better. I am a Little worried about how the med and the surgery I am scheduled to get might conflict. There is a danger of plr. I think that's the acronym. It would be bad news for me.

My responce to the med is so good I think that If I could get better with the surgery (If it is safe for me to get) I might be able to drive. I have my fingers crossed.

I don't have time now but I'm going to try to update again later.

Scared?

Who said I'm scared? I don't know the meaning of the word. I'm not that kind of guy. I'm no chicken. Chicken is what I eat for dinner. I'm BOLD and I'm BEATIFUL. There is nothing to fear but fear it's self. Scared is for sissies.

I guess you would have to classify how I feel as aprehensive. I think you could say I'm a little stressed. you might even say I'm averse to the idea of Brain Surgury... but scared? NEVER!

I think I will try to make my updates at least once a week from now on. I might have somthing I want to say sometimes but once a week I plan on saying something. I want to make improvements and I have for awhile. I think I might have to look for help on how I set up the blog on line or somthing. I also need to set up Blogs for my daughter and her sister, as well as one for my neice. I already have one for my daughter,Jasmine, but now she wants video. All I ccan say is, "I'll try". Jasmine is still waiting for her doll house. Jasmine is too old for it but I think I will try to finish the doll house and post my progress If the surgury goes well.

Brain Surgery!

I am scheduled to get an implant to help control my tremors. They have gotten pretty bad. They are the main reason I have not updated this blog in months. It has become more effort than I have felt like giving.

I will try to do a better job of updating my blog now that I have decided to get the surgery. There may be people that are interested in how in how I am doing. Hopefully I will even be able to make some of the improvements to my blog. Maybe someone who is considering the surgery can be informed by my experiences.

Let me describe the surgery. I will get two (diodes?) implanted in the front part of my brain. I have to be awake the entire time. they need me to be able to tell them if how I feel. After they are done they are done doing that thy will put me out (thank god) and implant the control device in my chest. I think I am scheduled for the 2 0f October.

I am also scheduled to change my MS medicine on August 30. I have to speak with my neuro ( neurologist..... get hip!). There may be possible complications I want to be aware of.

O.K. I have been layin' some heavy stuff on you so I will end this entry with a Joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road?


To get to the other side. You probably should have seen that coming

Jasmine plays the piano

Time for changes!

I need to make drastic changes. I am talking about changes in my life as well as changes on this, my humble little web log. I want to add video as well as a slidshow of my pictures to my blog. I have been toying with the idea of linking some of the free web bloging pages together. I should be able to do what I want but I don't know why I can't.I need a secratary!My daughter is sitting next to me. I guess she wants to use the computer. I was going to make a long and drawn out speech about how life sucks and how I need a girlfreind. Yet again my readers have gotten lucky. I have to watch what I write. There are youngins around... Changes are coming or my name isn't CRAZILYNSANE (actually its James E Childs Jr.)

Time for an update

I guess it's time for an update. It is probably past time. I have been on line a lot I just haven't felt like making any updates. I met a girl on line last week. She looks good too(It is not everything but I'd be a liar If I said it didn't count). I was chating with her for awhile. I haven't heard from her since though.

I hung out with my boys Saterday. We went out to a strip bar to celebrate my freind shawn getting maried. All I can say is, "Damn!" The funny thing is my freind Sal said it wasn't as good as the time when we went on my birthday. He told Shawn's fiance "I want a do over!" (uh-o)

My freind Mark got really drunk. I haven't seen him for 13 years. He was out of control. We were almost at the club but he said he had to piss. we stoppped under a bridgge and instead of just getting out of the car and going next to the pillar he ttried to climb away from the car falling down the whole time. We took two cars. When a police car pulled up behind sal who was behind us I could have swore we were all going to jail. The drivers were not drinking but everybody else was. The cop was behind Sal who was behind us. My brother Jeremy was telling John the driver "go,go,go!" we just drove away. If cop followed us he followed us. He didn't

If we go again Mark is not going. I have only told part of the story... If we do get a do over he is not going. I thought I was going to jail.

When Doves Cry

Dig if you will a picture...

"Damn I love prince."

I am listening to Prince right now, so if you don't know at least act like you do. It isn't too often that I could say that about another man. I just feel like I know him from his music. I was a wannabe musician for years before I lost the ability to play. I still have dreams. I still have the theory and I read music. If Beethoven could do it after he was deaf I could do it. with the modern equipment I think it might be possible.

It looks like it's going to be a lonely Valentine's Day. I haven't really talked to a woman romantically in a while. (I'm not gonna tell you. Don't ask.)

I'm working on my business plan right now. I have a few ideas I'm going to look into.

1. Construction contractor business
2. A DJ service
3. A music Label

I like all of the ideas for different reasons. I haven't chosen any thing yet. This will be the place to find out what I decide. Maybe I will decide to do all three.

I hate technology..I love technology

I have been listening to Ken radio's world tech round up. http://www.kenradio.com/ The world really is getting smaller. I am impressed with all the changes that are coming. For instance... I want an Iphone! I don't know if I would be able to use it to the full extent of it's capability. I really should concentrate on finding a way to make a little money. It's just that the tech stuff is...well, almost sexy. If I could find a nice nerdy chick I think I'd be set.lol

I have been toying with the idea of starting a construction company. I want to concentrate on the business end of the work and contract out the labor. I want to put in lifts,elevators, and ramps. I want to make existing homes handicapped accessible. I have a few things I need around my own house.

I'm still in the business plan stage. I want to do so much. I would love to make my business into the the new millennium with some of the new tech.

These kids I got hanging around me are going to expect diner soon. I guess I better get to work on it.

Hmmmm...

I am still trying to get the screen saver put on the blog. So far I have only been able to put a link to them in the crazy's links section of my blog. I don't think I even have that much space to put pictures. I only have a free account with flickr http://flickr.com . As usual I have a Little I still need to learn. I need handicapped accessible computer equipment. I get tired to easily as it is now. I lost my 1 gb flash drive with some of my pictures on it some where too. It's somewhere around here, all I need to do is find It. That's harder than it sounds.

Pictures!

I planed on making today the day I added a slide show to my blog. I'm not sure about the best way now. I have a flickr account, but I'm not sure it would be better than using Picasa the Google owned company. I am thinking that the Picassa or Google owned software will work better with my Google hosted blog on Blogger. I'll have to ask someone...

I also want to personalize my blog with video and pictures in the template. I'm not really a computer person but I'll figure something out

getting it together!

I'm trying to get my life together. I have been for a long time. I want to:

1. Get my living space neat and organized.
2. Get the kids neat and organized.
3. Get the Lilly situation under control. :-(
4. Come up with a better plan for dealing with the kids' mother.
5. find a way to make some money.
6. Make my blog better.
7. Get a Date! *<:-p

Cleaning up will not be as easy as it sounds. I have health issues and I tire easily. I don't really walk that well. I plan on doing the job over a week. Just getting motivated to try has been a problem for me for a while now.

The kids rooms should be easier. I just have to bark orders and look mean.

Lilly is still having problems. The toileting accidents may be a biological problem. I am not sure. My mother has been trying to get Lilly to a doctor but Lilly is uninsured.

This was covered by medicare(Medicaid?). My mother makes too much as her joint legal guardian to qualify for that. We can't get insurance with out the kids' birth certificates. Their mom is dragging her feet about supplying them. I think she is worried about loosing them permanently. She may be right.

I need a plan for dealing with Cindy. She likes to think she is the only one with a brain. She takes advantage of my generous and care free nature. ;-) Not this time. I have responded wrongly to her in the past.

I need money! Everybody wants a piece of my little SSI check. I'll figure something out.

My blog will get a flickr screen saver http://www.flickr.com/explore/ I am also adding more links. I may change the diary style format to something more useful. suggestions are welcome. Just click the comments link after this entry and leave a message.

I am too nice.

I let the grandparents of the two kids pick up my kids today. It was about an hour ago. Cindy the kids mother was supposed to pick them up, but when the time came for them to get picked up, their paternal grandfather showed up.

I shouldn't have let them go with him. They were all ready to go and they just left without me saying anything. There is a court order Thar says I need to get a clean drug screen before the children go anywhere, but I just let them go.

It will not happen again. I am tired of it. I have done more than I should. They will not take advantage of me again. Cindy has the habit of doing that. I will not let it bother me. We will handle this in court.

I don't know.

I am not sure if Lilly my step daughter is just lazy or if she is really mentally handicapped. She is seven and she can't read at all. I go over the rules but she does not seem to get it. I am going to print out some flash cards and see if that helps. My ex may have done something to her during her pregnancy. She is developmentally behind in any case.

I have been trying to meet people but no one seems to be interested in talking to me. The whole disabled thing is a MOTHA'. I won't go into it except to say disability can be lonely.

I didn't have much to say. Hopefully I will be more inclined to write next time.

I wil not get angry...I will not get angry...

Are you guys ready. My complaints are many today. I don't want to but I feel like I have to...complain. I think I was born to do it. Life just ain't far! I'll keep it to a minimum.

I had a Friend help clean the down stairs of my mothers house. It is a lot better than it was. He still is not finished. He will be here soon ( that means I have to go soon, ya lucky duck). He is starting up a cleaning/ janitorial company. Shawn, my friend has experience doing that type of work. His father has his own business. He and I both worked there when we were in our teens.

I am thinking about starting my own company too. I want to make homes handicapped accessible. I might try to do business or commercial work too. I know there must be a market out there for it. I'm disabled myself.

I am not sure I could get the money together to start something like that up. I might even want to get into real estate.

I don't know. I need to write a business plan. I use to be a carpenter so I can see it might be possible. I know I will not be the one swinging any hammers though.

So close yet so far away...

I think I have a general idea about what I want to do with my blog but I just can't seem to get it to work. I am looking into AdSense, photo slide shows, and maybe a few feeds from some of the Internet sites I like like Google or MSN. I am also worried about leaving my computer open to hackers or someone with evil intentions.

So far so good. I'm trying to be careful.

I may need to break down and hire someone to increase my blog size and capability. I am just doing the blog thing for fun but if it has my name attached to it it should be something worth having.

Hopefully I will be able to preserve some of my artistic type control over this project. It goes without saying that it's gotta be cheap.

Still learning...

I have some drastic changes I want to make to my blog but I want to make sure I do it right. I'm looking at adding video but I'm not sure how. I don't know which way to go. U tube or video Google. They are both Google now, right? I am going to have to start asking questions. I don't have a video camera yet anyway.

I'm still trying to add a slide show of some of my favorite pictures to my blog. I was also looking into editing my blog with an ad on to word. I found out somewhere that the add on doesn't work with Blogger Beta. Just like usual I am a day late and a dollar short on that one.

I had some ideas that I thought could improve my humble blog. I have already mentioned the video and the slide show. A list of my favorite movies or activities might be nice. I also think I want to add to my daughters blog. I'm just thinking... Since I got MS I have a lot of time to ponder the big questions.

Her shoes are tied!

I deserve a medal or an award or something. After a month and a half of trying Lilyiana my step daughter has tied her shoes. I changed the steps a little and something clicked. She got it.

Now we need to work on the toilet problems and her listening problem and we should be looking pretty good.

I guess making sure the girls get raised properly gives me purpose. I get angry when I see them not living up to their potential. I don't want to be a slave driver, but they must understand that there are standards. Hopefully we will achieve a healthy balance. I plan to try and be there so we do.

MS has changed my life but the game isn't over.

Ticked off + P.O.'ed as usual.

I just came inside from trying to get the leaves up with the lawn tractor. The grass catcher was not working. I was mechanically inclined but I avoid any type of physical work now. Getting off the tractor and fixing the problem is not an option.

I have also been trying to get my STEP daughter Lilly how to Tye her shoe laces. She just doesn't seem to get it. I'm not sure if she is slow or if is because she will not pay attention. I'm not sure if I should call her my daughter or not. She is not blood she is my daughter's sister. I do have custody of her. Her mother may never get them back. I wish she would stop lying about it. ...I have to change the subject.

This blog will be better if it kills me (it might). I am trying to add a picture slide show and a link to Items I might sell on eBay. I'm still working on it.

Bills bills,bills

A bill for $3,000 dollars came to me in the mail yesterday. I had to a double take when I saw it. I can remember it like it was yesterday...(it was)

3,000 dollars! Do they mean pesos? What is the exchange rate?

I still have a headache.

I have been doing a little research today. I'm going to add a slide show to my blog. I might even try to put some video on it. After I changed to blogger beta It is easier to make changes, but I still have problems.

I'm not sure how much space on the blog. I think video would eat up a lot of space. I don't know how to make my google calander accesable on my blog.

I would also like too add a family history blog and a chess blog.

Chess is one of my hobies. I am ok but I'm not as good as I once was. I think it might be because of the whole M.S. thing. I was just good I was never the best. I guess it's relative. Among real chess players I was never the best.

The problblem with being James

The problem with being James is I always have something to complain about. I think I bring a lot of my problems on myself, or I make them worse. Life has not been fair to me in any case. I mean I didn't plan for the MS thing at all.

You could make the argument that I should have been better prepared with insurance and financialy. I did not accomplish much in my life so far. My family cituation should have been better I know.

I have two kids now and I need to think for them as well as myself. I know all of this but I don't know how. The answers just elude me.I can not really take care of myself.

Jasmine my oldest and biological daughter seems to be adjusting well. She is 12 years old and very opinionated. She got four A's and three B's on her last report card. I am taking all the credit for that one. Thank You. I made a blog for her at http://jasmines-links.blogspot.com/ .
I suppose Lilly will want one too now.

Lillianna (Lilly) has been having problems. She turns seven on Jan. 1. She has already failed kindergader and is not potty trained. I don't know if somthing may have happened to her or If she is just a product of the neglect that happened at her mothers house. She may have a biologic problem.

Lilly is not my daughter biologicly. I think she has started to call me DADDY. I am O.k. with that but I'm not sure I heard her correctly. I asked her once but she didn't repeat it. Jasmine may not like it. she always refers to me as her daddy.