Green Gardens

I am trying to start a gardening company. I need to see a if a friend of mine will put in a garden for me. I think I could design the garden and he could put it in. I could hire more people and grow into a gardening business.

I want a nice garden with bird houses and fish ponds. This may be a way for me to get it.

Who Knows? Maybe I can make some money.


Jasmine wants a laptop and I think Lilly said somthing about new shoes. Kids need things. I am sad because I haven't been able to give it to them.

I wish I had a joint

I am trying not to think about stuff. These kids are making me crazy, and I am thinking about my exs. I need to get out of the house.

Lilly has been acting up. She does what she wants to do. She trys to do the opisite of what I tell her. I disaproved of what she was wearing so she said " Don't worry about me, I'm in charge of me. "

" Since when? "

I eventually accepted what she ended up wearing to school. A pair of jeans and a skirt. It didn't even match. I am preparing myself for battle as we speak. That little girl is going to learn to put container tops back on and to put stuff back in the refridgerater.

She gets her stuborn streak from here mother. " You can't tell her nothin. "

The poem " huh hmm" (Had to clear my throat) The poem I wrote was in refrence to her. It was messed up from the begining. That is why I left.

I doubt she sees it that way. I did get jealous and loose my mind for a secound there,but I am comforted by the thought that I left her and she was the one acting a fool at first.

My symptoms are about the same although i do notice my hands getting tired. After 10 min I am one handed. I was trying to hide the poem behind new posts. Hope that's enough.

Before I go I just wanted to say the joint coment was how I feel not what I will do. I have hung up my scales and my roach clips. I just feel like that.

What I think about sometimes

On The Wall


I wanted it to be over
Then I saw it written on the wall.
Pain is when you lose something
Something you did not want at all
Haunted by colored paper
Memories of what should be
A laughing smiling image
Never forgets to torment me
I hear it talking on the phone
Whispered echoes in every call
I see it in a children’s eye
I see it on the wall
When it rains it hurts
And when there is not a cloud in the sky
I really want to paint my wall
But I really don’t want to lie

James Childs

I wrote that the other day. I was thinking... I wonder if I could sell that ;-P. Just kidding, but I might as well do something with my misery.

I am a twitterer

I am now a twtterer and im not refering to the annoying spasms I occasionly get in my legs. I'm talking about twitter the new social networking site. Members just leave short messages about what they are doing.

I'll make a link in my links section. Check it out. I am crazilynsane.

computer problems ... again!

I can't get my pictures from my camera into my computer. Pictures might help me make my blog more interesting to look at. I am going crazy!

So what else is new?

Not much. That's why I have chosen the handle of crazilynsane. I'm always stressed by something or other. It's part of the Joy of being me.

" If it aint one thing its another. "

I think stress might have been why I developed MS. I bring it on myself and I know it. I just wanted to put up a few pictures of what I've been doing. I have pictures of Jasmines last basketball game as a cheerleader, Lilly's soccer game, and a few pictures at the kite fair. I also have pictures of caterpillars we raised and released as butterflies.

I also wanted to mention that on April 12, Easter Sunday 2009, I got a hug from my daughter Jasmine. She is 14 and growing up so I don't get them like I used to. I have to remember them when I get them.

a new plan

I was going to erase my blog and start over but I thoaght I could print out a copy of what I have already typed and then start over. I still can but I thought about it and that seems to me like a waste of paper.

I could save my work on a hard drive or somthing. I could also keep what I have and just make changes. That last idea seems like the easiest thing to do so that looks like what I'll be doing.

I had my Tysabri infusion today. Everything is going ok with that. It has slowed the progression of my MS. I still have symptoms that bother me.

I am loosing the feeling in my left foot. It is not completely gone but I almost wish it were. I get a burning freezing feeling in my toes. It doesn't bother me usually but it is relentless.

" It just don't quit. "

I first noticed the changes in the sensation of my left leg at the doctors office. She was proding me with cold metal. When she held the metal thing a magig on my leg it kind of freaked me out.

I didn't feel a thing.

I have to complain about that to my doctor. I need some releif.