Therapy

This I just started phyysical therapy. I hope it helps. Idoubt it. I can't type very well. I can't play the piano or do half of the things I used to. I'm having touble now so I will have to stop. I will have to update my record of my MS latter.

11 years old!

My daughter Jasmine just turned 11 yeasterday and she started the 6th grade. She said she is going to be a cheerlesder.

This had me thinking.

It's official. I'm getting old.

I am also worried becouse this is a big change for her. She is now in middle school. She will be using a locker and she will have diferent teachers for her classes. Every thing will change even her school bus. I am worry about the things middle school girls can get into. I worry especialy about Boys.

I know what little boys are thinking about . I used to be one.

I think I have a little time before I really have to worry about the whole sex isue, but then again you never know. I know I was thinking about girls when I was around 12 or 13. It might have been sooner. It was defenantly in middle school.

I have decided that I wil try to give Jasmine the space to make her own decicions. I am trying to deal with the fact that she has to make her own mistakes. All I can do is wathch her carefully and hope that I have given her a good morals and equiped her with enouph informationto know what to do.

Saying it is pne thing but doing it is another. I have a lot of dreams for her. Some of them where my dreams. I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to be a musician. I was a very good piano player. I even studied music theory in school. Now that I can no longer play I am happy to see that Jasmine has an interest in music. She told me she wants a guitar. I was going to rush out and buy her one , but I am not sure if I should. I want to make sure she plays her clarinet first. I will probably get one sooner or latter.

I can see now that it is going to bae hard to not push her too hard. My musical ambitions fell apart after I got MS. Her dreams need to be her dreams.

crazilynsane

Beautiful Song

Today I bought a song I heard a song on the radio a few weeks ago. We belong together by Maria Carey. It really had an affect on me. I could identify with the lyrics in the song. The song made references to another song by Babyface which was released in 1989.

It took me back to the days when I was just beginning to get involved in romantic relationships and I thought about all the relationships I have been in and all of the mistakes I have made.

I thought about the girl I lost my virginity with. She was also a virgin. She lied and said she wasn't. I am not sure if she realized that I was about to find out for sure that she was.
That relationship ended badly but I wish I new where she was. I would like to apologize for a few things. I would like to know how she is doing. In a way I sill love her.

I also thought of my daughters mother. I left her and then I became jealous when she started to date again. I did a 5 year prison sentence over her. Latter after I got out she wanted to get back together. I am not sure where I got the strength to say no. I knew it was the right thing to do. It wasn't too much latter that she proved it.

I think about my last girlfriend. She was diagnosed manic depressive and she is also a drug addict. I still loved her.

I have loved all my girl friends.

I know some people who read this might wonder what this has to do with MS. It is involved because right now I do not know what kind of future I have with women. My disability has affected my vision , balance, and my strength. I have lost the confidence to talk to women. I don't have much to offer a woman.

I hope by sharing this can let some one else with MS know they are not alone. If nothing else I have gotten some of my frustration out.

Bye



crazilynsane